I Am Jack's Raging Mommy

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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Mama Bear

I've discovered that it's frightening how much I love my son. He has this amazing power to make me happy, just by existing. When he starts to smile and his face splits into it's huge grin I am lost and often collapse in giggles.
I had a lot of fears throughout my pregnancy. I am so very impatient, and my temper is so very short, that I dreaded not being able to just be that happy, loving mom. I expected to constantly have to bite my tongue, or that my stomach would start to act all ulcerous again with the stress. Not only were my fears I wouldn't be able to handle it unfounded, it's almost as if Jack has an exemption or get out of irritation free card.
I do wish that the patience could spill over into other areas. It would be so much better for Joe if it did, but I do alright I suppose. I try anyway, and it's usually only in the middle of the night when my eyes are hurting to be open that my fuse is too short. Luckily Joe's always been patient, and more than willing to put up with my crap. Sure, this probably means he's completely insane, but he's mine and I love him.
I look at my boys and I think to myself how much I love my family. And how amazing it is that I have a family, and that I am happy.