Unsolicited Advice (and Likely TMI)

There's something perverse about an eating disorder. I for one used laxatives a lot, and to this day I have a hard time using medicine to counter-act natural occurrences. (I'm trying to be couth here.)
The same goes for flu season. I pray every year to catch the flu. Do you know how much weight you lose that way? Unfortunately I always feed the damn fever.

So here's my unsolicited advice. If you find yourself feeling ill, and the nearest receptacle is the kitchen sink, use the side with the garbage disposal. It is so much easier to clean up.

(I did mention that my gag reflex is on a hair trigger right now, right?)