I Am Jack's Raging Mommy

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Thursday, August 18, 2005

Yes Ernest, I do in fact know what you mean

All the cool kids on the interweb are talking about Jim Varney (AKA Ernest P. Worrell, and how proud of myself am I that I know the whole name?) so I decided I want to be in the in crowd and join in.

Once, I was in a professional summer stock company. Well, I was more than once, but I am only talking about one specific time. Anyway, this theatre had the oh so proud distinction of having had Jim Varney and pre-Scientology John Travolta as former actors. That's right! I'm a good enough actress to have been in Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000. (Did anyone else know that was its full name?)

That was a really weird summer for me. I left for the theatre two days after I turned 17, and my mom was so terrified that I would screw everyone I met once I was out from under her watchful eye, that she put me on the Pill and bought me a box of condoms. I did not have sex with any guys that summer though. But I could have! I was such jail bait back then. If I had a scanner I'd post my skinny ass all over the internet. That's also the summer I started drinking and smoking. I was all kinds of rebellious. Good Times.

So that is my remote connection to Jim Varney.
I can also connect myself to Kevin Bacon in less than 6 steps.


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