Abortion- a very unclear look

Abortion is the hot-button topic here lately, even though I don't usually delve into things that deep.
So I've been thinking about explaining my beliefs on the subject, the problem being that they are so hard to define. I am ambivalent in the textbook etymological sense of the word.

I'm a birth-mother as regular readers know. Obviously that situation was one where the thought of abortion crossed my mind. It wasn't the decision I made, but that doesn't mean a person faced with the same circumstances who made the other choice is wrong. The fact that I couldn't make the choice doesn't give me the right to decide for others. I can't condemn someone for making a decision based on their circumstances and experience. Do you know how many people have criticized and belittled me for having my eldest be adopted? And most of these people were pro-life. I never want to do that to someone. This is why we live in a democracy, and a free country. If one person had the right to make decisions for everyone based on their personal morality, we'd be living in a fascist state, and we aren't quite yet.

It's not that simple, I know it's not that simple. In fact, this post has now been sitting as a draft for over a week, because I can't think of how to say what I feel coherently. Abortion makes me sad. Sad for the fetus/embryo/baby, and sad for the mother. I'm not trying to play down the pregnancy, but there is so much argument about what to call it, that I'm actually afraid to use certain terms. Do I think it's life? Yes, but I also know that up to a certain point it's not life life. Yogurt is alive, after all, but we eat it. And now I feel like a bitch for that analogy. Do you see what I mean about being torn? I don't think it's an easy topic, an easy decision or an easy conversation. But because I recognize how hard it actually is, I recognize I can never understand what someone is going through.

I also cannot begin to fathom how people respond to abortion with violence. What is wired wrong in their minds that murder -by every definition including the Bible's- becomes their solution. It's sad too, but also evil on a level that frightens me. I also understand the peaceful protestors, but not the ones who call women whores and murderers, often without knowing if that woman is only at a clinic for birth control. I flat out despise people who use pictures supposedly of aborted fetuses to scare and disgust people. They seem to take some righteous pleasure out of it, and that is just sick.

So this isn't clear, it makes no good points and reaches no conclusion that could influence anyone's opinion. I just hope that the way I see the situation is a bit clearer. I also believe very strongly that once we allow our freedoms to be taken away, that we will begin to lose the ones that aren't controversial as well. Giving the devil a foothold, to be ironic.
I don't want to offend anyone. These are just my thoughts.