I Am Jack's Raging Mommy

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Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Half Birthday (a day late), Jack!

I have been trying to compose some sort of letter to Jack kind of post to commemorate his sixth months on this planet, but I'm not finding anything terribly clever or funny to say. I'm amazed that it's been so long already. He was a big baby to begin with, but he's gotten so big that I do find myself missing my tiny little baby who would crawl up and snuggle his head into my neck to go to sleep. I just tried to do that again a few minutes ago and was met with incessant crying until I put him down in his crib where he is now sleeping like... a baby. No more laying with me on the couch or in bed and falling asleep, those times are much to fun to sleep! It's play with mommy's face and hair time now.

However, also gone are the waking up five times every night, and the constipation, and the croup. He sleeps through the night, eats his cereal and baby food, and is even starting to call me "mama" and Joe "bla bla" so I think the trade off is more than fair.
My love for Jack is still frightening in it's strength, and every day it seems like he does something new that melts my heart. Today I walked back in the living room from the kitchen only to looks around wildly. "Joe! Where's the baby?" Joe sat bolt upright and began to laugh, because Jack was under the coffee table at my feet. When I leaned over I was greeted with an enormous smile as if to say "Isn't this a fun game! Let's play it some more!".

Jack sits up for over 20 minutes at a time if he's not crawling all over the living room. His range of exploring is increasing, as evidenced by the coffee table incident, and if I don't get him a fence soon ($68 on Amazon) I am going to have to get a gate for the hallway and jerry rig something to keep him out of the kitchen and dining room. It would be a bit frightening how mobile he is, if it wasn't so fascinating to watch something catch his eye and the single minded determination he shows in getting there. Especially when I am the target and he is looking up with his smile that shows I am his favorite thing in the world right then.

I've always been the wild one, the rebel, the one who bucked the system and did what people didn't want me to. So why then has motherhood become the most fulfilling thing I've ever done? People who knew me before I got married and had Jack are amazed, but none of them can be more amazed than I.
I love my life, I love my husband and I love Jack, and that is alright with me.