Dear Mothers at the Health Department

Hi there! This is Jack's Raging Mommy. As we have mommy-hood in common, I salute you and give you much credit. But there is one small thing we need to discuss.
Yes, my son is adorable. He's damn cute to be accurate. Thank you for noticing and telling me that you think so. I love vicarious praise for my child.

Here's where our issue begins. Admiring from a distance? Great. Sending your unwashed, filthy, snot nosed (LITERALLY) children over to look and TOUCH my child is not acceptable. In no way shape or form is this allowed.

You see Health Department moms, my 6-month old has never been sick. Not one sniffle, cold, earache, nada. So you sending your germy kids over to touch my child makes me angry. And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I know you don't know that I am Jack's Raging Mommy, but trust me, finding out in real life is much much worse than finding out over the internet.

For future fucking reference, ask. Ask the mother if it's okay if your nasty kids lean in their baby's face. Ask if the great unwashed can touch the baby. A stranger's baby. You don't know me bitch. What the fuck makes you so presumptuous? Have some courtesy, rein in your children and don't let them think they can be as selfish and thoughtless as you are.

Thank You,
Jack's Raging Mommy