I Am Jack's Raging Mommy

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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Surly little hobos and 16 year old "Scream" killers

Have you ever been excited and lazy about something at the same time? That is kind of what Halloween was for me this year. It's Jack's first Halloween, so I wanted to take him out. The thing is, he can't eat candy and I don't want all that candy, so I decided to be the lamest mom ever and take him Trick or Treating for Unicef. Why have candy when you can raise money for charity? There was only one small problem with this plan. The area that I live in doesn't really do Trick or Treat for Unicef. There aren't any of the stores that you can drop the box off here, and I'd have had to explain it at every door we knocked on. Would you give someone money for Halloween just because they said it was for some charity you'd never heard of? I'd never heard of Unicef until I read about it in a Baby-Sitters Club book or some such as a kid. It wasn't until years later when I moved here that I ever saw commercials for it on stations out of St. Louis. So it really seemed like a lot of trouble when I could send in a ten dollar check and it would be more than we could raise anyway.

Plus? It rained all day yesterday. So screw that. I dressed Jack up and put on a witch's hat and we handed out candy. To some of the surliest Trick or Treaters ever.

What is with this? Do kids not say "Trick or Treat" anymore? We only had two or so kids that said it, and without fail they had parents standing over them. Our first Trick or Treater of the night was like "Yeah, it's all wet and cold" as if he were being punished. I wanted to say "Look kid, I am giving you free candy. Be nice dammit!". But of course I didn't. We didn't have a lot of visitors in general, we live in a four plex, and we were the only ones in our building handing out candy. How wrong is that? The cop that lives across the street and the very patriotic man next to him had their lights off and their houses darkened in the universal sign of "Don't come here for candy evil children". The weird thing was that the four plex two buildings down got a ton of visitors. At this point we were sitting out front to hand out candy so kids didn't have to walk upstairs. People would drive by and wave, and then not stop for candy.

The whole thing was surreal, but no matter how much I bitch it really was a lot of fun. We'd only bought one bag of candy, and we didn't even run out of that, so there is still sugar in the house. I am going to make Joe eat all of it, or take it with him to work to give to people. I've done so well so far!

So that was our family's first Halloween, and now I've shared it with you internet. Don't you feel the love? I do.

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