I Am Jack's Raging Mommy

Please go to http://jacksragingmommy.com

Friday, December 23, 2005

There are a lot of idiots in the internet...

... Unfortunately I'm one of them.

Today is Random Notes About Jack day. Join in one and all in this poorly written adventure!

At seven and a half months Jack is now 17 lbs 11 oz and 29 inches long. I have given birth to some sort of mutant baby who wont stop growing. He's going to be 6' tall by kindergarten.

Jack has a fun new quirk. He will not poop in a wet diaper. Which means that as soon as you change the wet diaper you have to turn around and change to poop filled one. The problem is that you can't predict when this will happen, so you have to wait for the stench to assail you. Oh how I love that stench.

We've been giving Jack his juice in a bottle with a sippy-cup style nipple, so that he can learn to tell the difference in preparation for the sippy cup. I'm pretty sure that he thinks it is some kind of novel teething toy that occasionally provides a fruity tasting surprise. This means he chews on the nipple and drools, and becomes covered in a layer of juice and spit that I mostly just leave alone, since he'd just do it to a clean outfit anyway. What a great mom I am.

His third tooth is showing along his top gumline. He is very displeased about this tooth, and shares that with all who come near. Paired with the mild tiny bit of his cold that is left, and the immunizations, yesterday was such a fun day. I explained it to my mom thusly "He wasn't in the best of moods anyway, and then we stabbed him". At least today we are back to just the tooth and mild cold leftovers.

Tomorrow we leave on our Christmas trek to see the families. I keep saying "next time we are just staying home" but when you live within driving distance of both sets of grandparents that isn't really an option. At least not without being much more of a bitch than I am in the real world. I often wish I had the balls to say some of the things in real life that I do here, but I am completely hopeless at confrontation. Just ask the smelly people whose children had no sense of personal space who I was in the checkout line with yesterday. Did I say anything to them? No I did not. Not even when the perfume was making me gag. That's just how much of a pushover nice I am. I personally think you all are much better off knowing the online me. She tends to tell it like it is.

Happy Holidays everyone. I can't wait to read posts about how terrible they all were! I'll try to come up with a funny version of my own painful weekend for you.


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