So I was offline for a week. It seems in that time I've missed about four separate scandals that all seem to peripherally involve the concept of "the cool kids on the blog" or who gets to go to conferences. You know, I've already fessed up
about my blog-envy, but maybe I should have been more clear.
Last year, when "everyone" went to BlogHer, I was green- absolutely green- with envy. Why couldn't I be one of the cool kids? Why am I such a non-entity on the internet? I'm clever too! Why won't anyone notice me? Or love me? When I found out it was an open conference that (most) people paid to attend, my jealousy abated somewhat. At that point I was just envious of the people that could afford to go and could figure out what to do with their young'un for that time. But there was still that voice in the back of my head that told me that certain people would have still all ended up getting drunk together in the hotel room and I totally
would not have been invited. I think only one of them would have known who I was, based on the one attendee who has replied to a comment I've made.
Here's the thing though: even though I'm not one of the cool kids, and I was jealous as hell, and I wouldn't have gotten drunk with them -even though I can totally hold my alcohol and I'm a lot of fun- despite all of that I don't hate those who do fit that description. I'm a fairly evil bitch and it would never occur to me to A) Hate someone B) Start a members-only blog to bitch about people by name or C) Attack said people on their own websites
Holy God people! Someone having comments does NOT mean they encourage or are asking for hate mail. It means that they enjoy intelligent, and funny discourse with others on the internet who share their sense of humor. If you don't like what they have to say, simply don't go back to their page. If you are utterly incapable of that level of consideration, at least attempt to point out your issue with them in an intelligent way, and to their "face" (on their site as opposed to starting an internet slam book about them). If you aren't capable of even that
small consideration then you forfeit all right to be offended when they then stand up for themselves.
Somehow the trolls have gotten it into their heads that they can curse people, and insult them and trash them by name, but that the victims should "take it" and have no right to defend themselves. What is further ironic is that when the victims do
defend themselves the trolls say that no one has a right to talk about other people. Do what now? You started this bitch fest madam troll! Now shut up and take your medicine. Without
I'm sad that people I like are being attacked by small minded fools who forgot how to act human, and have forgotten that acting the way that they are makes it even less likely for them to be liked. So what if the popular kids don't link to you and you link to them? I link to a lot of people who don't link to me, or know I exist. There are people who link to me that I don't have linked (though I have visited every site that has me linked. But I am small enough to do that), but I don't send hate emails demanding why I am not listed. It's their website, not mine. If it bothered me that much I would be free to de-link them and no longer read their site. But I don't, because as childish, and rage filled, and stupid as I can be, even I am not that petty.
That's what this all comes down to I think. People feel small like they did back in school, but since they are hiding behind a computer they grow the balls to "stand up" in a way they never could before. The problem is that they are punishing innocent people for pain that was caused by others a long time ago. These women don't get together and make up lists for one another about who is cool and who isn't. They don't plan topics, or site design, or causes. If two people happen to talk about the same thing it is neither a plot, nor someone copycatting another in an attempt to be cool.WE ARE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE.
Yes, we all know girls who did these things, but guess what? They grew up and so did you and the people on the internet aren't the head cheerleader whispering to everyone in English that you are a loser. If you honestly believe this, or are incapable of getting past feeling persecuted by the in crowd, then get offline and get into therapy. It's the best advice I can provide.